On the days my girl feels as though she is too difficult to love, I tell her this quote I read that goes, “We like because; we love despite.” The best example of a true love is God’s love towards us. His is a stubborn, persistent love that refuses to heed any form of reasoning. Because even when we give God a million reasons to not love us one ounce each day, He loves us all the same anyway; He still bids us to draw closer to Him. And even though He loathes the sin and filth and baggage that one comes with, He nevertheless loves the sinner unconditionally. That is a love that loves despite. And it is also a love that stands in place as a reminder that we are all still very much lovable regardless of who or what we currently are.
There a million things that make each of us difficult to love. And there are a billion more logical reasons why we are all, in essence, undeserving of love in the first place. But a true love finds a way to penetrate all the rubble and cherish us anyway. A true love adores us whole, with all our rough edges and shortcomings and frailties. A true love loves us more for what we could be than what we currently are today. None of that is to say we are to hold on to certain traits even when we are cognizant of how undesirable they are. Each of us is to strive to be the best version of ourselves. But my point is that we all, in a very weird and illogical way, still warrant a true love on the way to being our best selves.
And so on the days when you feel unlovable, on the days that the people around you or the voices in your head tell you how undeserving you are of love, I hope you will remember that by virtue of being a human being, you too are worthy of love. I hope you remember that you too are worthy of a “despite” kind of love; a love that does not overlook how flawed you, but instead acknowledges all your imperfections and loves you anyway. No matter how far you’ve strayed, how far off you’ve fallen, how despicable the errors you’ve made, you are still very lovable. You are lovable. Do not let anyone, not even your own self, tell you any different. And my hope for you is that you learn to give yourself this kind of love before you can expect it from anyone else. Always remember that We like because; We love despite.