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We Do Not Actively Remember Death

Perhaps the best way to live is to actively remember death, to actively remember its sting and its cruelty, its disregard for class, gender, race or whatever discrepancies we give relevance. Perhaps the best way to live, to appreciate life is actively remember that we are all, some day, going to die, that we all live on borrowed time. We live the way we do now because we do not actively remember death, because life, the life we live, is a denial of the fact that is death. That is why we do not pray enough, why we hold grudges, why we do not apologize often, why we “reciprocate energy”. That is why we are so quick to anger, why we are slow to aid, why we are mean and sharp-tongued. That is why we give relevance to how much money someone has, how tall, skinny, dark someone is, what phone they have or what car they drive. That is why we are so afraid of telling people the things we badly want them to know, why we are so afraid of going after the things we really want, why we are afraid of taking a chance. Because we forget that death is imminent for us all: you, me and everyone we love. And perhaps if we accepted it as a fact, if we kept it in our minds, we’d do so much better, we’d live better. I know I would. Man, I’m so tired of not learning, of having to wait for someone to die to remember all this all over again. And I think we all should be at this point. We ought to do better.

To you, young king,

I’ve been sat for the past several hours, willing someone to nudge me awake, willing someone to tell me this is all a hoax, that someone made a mistake and it wasn’t you. A part of me is still expecting you to show up and say, “Did you ohns really think I’d go out just like that?” I haven’t been able to say it out loud, that you are gone, because that would make it real. I have been avoiding my phone, avoiding all media because everything on it is about you now, and that makes all of it a reality. And I’m not ready for it to be. I’m not ready to fathom it. I’m not ready to deal with it. But deep down, I know it’s real. I know this is reality. I know this is you bowing out for good. You had so much more to give this world, so much more of yourself to share, and it’s so unfair that we won’t get to see what you would have panned out to be. You have given us all so much while you were here, but it still feels as though we have been robbed, as though you have been taken too abruptly. It’s all happened too quickly. One minute you are here and the next… you just aren’t.

If the sun ever chose to take a day off, it would be your smile that would take over. And if we ever lost our laughter, your jokes would search the world, find it and drag it back to us. Our worlds will be a Josh Jay shade darker without you. Your light, your ability to light up a room, your confidence, your charisma, your banter… all of you, everything that you were is irreplaceable. The dope kid. The baddest guy to ever walk the planet. Josh Jay. We will never get another you. And damn, that leaves such a massive hole in all our hearts… in my heart. We love you, young king. Rest in peace❤.

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